Posts Tagged ‘Ontario’

I used to listen to Z103.5, but no longer.

2011/07/10

I used to listen to Z103.5 but now I listen to KISS. 92.5 on the FM dial has better personalities and music.

Pharisee church pastor declares “holy victory” over the elimination of eco fees in Ontario

2010/10/12

Upon hearing the news that the Ontario government is scrapping point-of-sale eco fees, the Pharisee church pastor made the following proclamation:

“Today is a great day for all Christian saints and angels of God.  After many prayer sessions by me and my Christian accountability groups, the army of angels from God has struck a devastating wound against the Antichrist Dalton McGuinty, Premier of Ontario, using the flames of holy judgement.  The Antichrist has no choice but to eliminate the satanic eco tax.

“I rejoice that God has answered my prayers for Dalton McGuinty’s spiritual defeat.  However, the removal of the eco tax alone is not enough for Dalton McGunity to escape the holy wrath of an angry God.  The Premier needs to immediately resign his position as the Devil’s representative, join my church, and attend one of my Christian accountability groups.  It is only by being spiritually accountable to me that he can obtain salvation.”

Pharisee church pastor calls Dalton McGuinty “The Antichrist” over eco fees

2010/07/19

The Pharisee church pastor announced to me today that he has “proven” that Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty is the Antichrist described in the Bible.

“People in Ontario may have noticed that starting a couple of weeks ago, Dalton McGuinty’s government has been collecting an ‘eco tax’ at the cash register.  I discovered that that maximum amount for Dalton McGuinty’s eco tax is $6.66.

As any serious reader of the Bible knows, the number 666 is no ordinary number.  It is, in fact, the very number of the evil Antichrist, the demonic Beast whose mission is to seduce the world for the Devil.  By setting the high amount of his eco tax to coincide with this satanic number, Dalton McGuinty has claimed this number for himself.  Therefore, he has revealed himself to be the Antichrist.

Ever since he tried to sexualize Ontario’s elementary schoolchildren, I have considered Dalton McGuinty’s spirituality to be under great suspicion.  Now, by imposing the number 666 on Ontario residents, the Premier is clearly the Evil One foretold by prophecy.

My church and all Christian accountability groups under me will be praying day and night for Dalton McGuinty’s spiritual defeat.  We will ask God to send armies of angels to destroy the Antichrist’s plans, starting with the eco tax.  The Premier needs to immediately resign his position as the Devil’s representative, join my church, and attend one of my Christian accountability groups.  It is only by being spiritually accountable to me that he can obtain salvation.”

Pharisee church pastor, I don’t think even the opposition parties at Queen’s Park are with you on this one.

Fitness to Work Evaluation processing times

2010/06/12

A report by Health Canada indicates that for Fitness to Work Evaluation (FTWE) requests made by Transport Canada, the yearly-average processing times by Health Canada’s Workplace Health and Public Safety Programme (WHPSP), Ontario Region, ranged from 42.0 days (approximately 1 ½ months) to 203.5 days (less than 7 months) during the previous five fiscal years (2005/06 to 2009/10).  In the majority (57%) of cases during the previous five fiscal years, the FTWE was completed in less than 120 days (4 months).

 The yearly average processing times are as follows:

 2005/06 – 75.5 days

2006/07 – 117.3 days

2007/08 – 203.5 days

2008/09 – 42.0 days

2009/10 – 109.0 days

Source:  Health Canada Access to Information Request A-2010-00056 / ne

Christian teachers in Ontario may need to resign from the profession

2010/03/25

Among many other things, the Pharisee church pastor I wrote about in my earlier story declared that Christians are not allowed to participate in lotteries.  I did hear this un-Biblical prohibition preached from the pulpit, which was why it was in the story.  Those Christians who hold on to this opinion, and who happen to be teachers in the Province of Ontario, Canada, will now need to resign from their profession immediately.  This is because the Ontario Teachers’ Pension Plan has just bought the operator of the United Kingdom National Lottery, making current and former Ontario teachers the owners of a major lottery scheme:

Story from the Globe and Mail, Canada’s National Newspaper

News Release from the Ontario Teachers’ Pension Plan

Retired teachers will also have to voluntarily decline their pensions as well.  Perhaps the Pharisee church pastor might be willing to pay the bills of those in “his church” in this situation, although I highly doubt it.