In his latest tirade against “deteriorating morality in the world”, the Pharisee church pastor called the prophet Elijah in the Bible “a man of sin who violated the many and always-expanding rules of Christian accountability” for living with a widow while he stayed in Zarephath.
“An important rule of Christian accountability is that a man must never live with a woman who is not his wife,” the Pharisee church pastor explained. “If Elijah wanted to live with that widow, he should have married her first. Since he did not do so, he was living in sin.”
“It is therefore obvious why the widow’s son became so sick that he died,” continued the Pharisee church pastor. “As I have preached before, all diseases, from the common cold to cancer, are caused by sin in your life. The illness and death of the widow’s son is the result of either the child’s own sins, or the sins of his parents, or both. With his mother living in sin with the man Elijah who was not her husband, this child’s sickness and death is well deserved as a measure of Christian accountability.”
“If Elijah were indeed a prophet, as he is commonly known, he would know to never associate with sinners, such as a woman living with a man who is not her husband, in order to keep himself pure and holy in accordance with the rules of Christian accountability,” explained the Pharisee church pastor, “because Christians are not allowed to associate with sinners. I have no doubt that the man of sin Elijah has been burning in hell since his death.”
But, Pharisee church pastor, Elijah was apparently told to live with the widow in Zarephath, would that not be an acceptable excuse?
“The one who told Elijah to live with a woman who is not his wife is clearly even more sinful than Elijah,” thundered the Pharisee church pastor in response, “and whoever this is needs to immediately join in one of my Christian accountability groups, so I can hold him accountable as his accountability partner.”
Pharisee church pastor, as someone who says that you will hold God accountable, I suppose that if God is to come into the world, you would crucify Him to death on a cross.
Tags: accountability partner, accountability partners, Bible, Christian accountability, Christianity, cohabitation, crucifixion, death, disease, Elijah, God, health, hell, holiness, Holy, Jesus, legalism, Pharisee church pastor, prophet, pure, purity, rules of Christian living, sickness, Sidon, sin, widow, Zarephath