Archive for March, 2010

How Rona lost (at least) $50 in guaranteed sales


Recently, I was preparing to visit some friends who are in the process of moving house.  Knowing that they will have a need for home improvement products, I decided that a gift card from a home improvement store would be an appropriate gift.  So I went to my nearest Rona Home & Garden store, and asked to buy a $50 gift card.  When I took out my credit card to make the payment, I was told by the cashier that Rona only accepts cash or debit when purchasing gift cards, and does not accept credit cards.  I asked her if she is sure, and she insisted that a Rona gift card must be paid for by either cash or debit.  So I bid her farewell, and proceeded to a Home Depot store.  There, I quickly bought a $50 Home Depot gift card with my credit card, and was on my way within minutes.

My friends were happy to receive the $50 Home Depot gift card.  They told me that they do need to buy quite a few things for their new house – at least a few hundred dollars worth, if not a thousand or two.  With my gift card, they intend to visit Home Depot first.

In this case, then, it is obvious that Rona’s loss is Home Depot’s gain.

Christian teachers in Ontario may need to resign from the profession


Among many other things, the Pharisee church pastor I wrote about in my earlier story declared that Christians are not allowed to participate in lotteries.  I did hear this un-Biblical prohibition preached from the pulpit, which was why it was in the story.  Those Christians who hold on to this opinion, and who happen to be teachers in the Province of Ontario, Canada, will now need to resign from their profession immediately.  This is because the Ontario Teachers’ Pension Plan has just bought the operator of the United Kingdom National Lottery, making current and former Ontario teachers the owners of a major lottery scheme:

Story from the Globe and Mail, Canada’s National Newspaper

News Release from the Ontario Teachers’ Pension Plan

Retired teachers will also have to voluntarily decline their pensions as well.  Perhaps the Pharisee church pastor might be willing to pay the bills of those in “his church” in this situation, although I highly doubt it.

The Church Pastor and the Crack-Addicted Prostitute


Two people were praying, one a church pastor and the other a crack-addicted prostitute.

The church pastor prayed, “God, I thank you that I am not like other people – alcoholics, pornography viewers, participants in pre- and extra-marital sex, gamblers, liars, and sinners.

I am an expert in the many rules of Christian living, and I know all the Do’s and Don’ts for Christians. I am active in discipling those in my church to ensure that they are growing more and more like me in their Christian walk. As the ‘accountability partner’ of many in my church, I ensure that my people are held accountable for all their sins and un-Christian thoughts. While I definitely do not partake in that evil computer service called Facebook, I make sure that members of my church keep me informed of what sinful words are being written and posted by other members of my church, so I can keep them accountable for all their Facebook actions. I keep myself holy and demand that my disciples are holy like me as well.

I prevent myself from being contaminated by the evil world by ensuring that I only associate with non-Christians when I am preaching to them about their sins, and telling them they need to join my church. I avoid the sinful television, radio, and print media of the world, and I definitely do not get involved in that devil’s den of lustful pornography called the Internet. I never buy lottery tickets, and I prohibit members of my church from participating in this debauchery as well.

I have never been to, and I will never go to Las Vegas or Macau. Christians are not allowed to go to Las Vegas or Macau. Everyone in Las Vegas and Macau will all be consumed by the fire of hell. I will rejoice on the day when these cities of sin, and all the sinners within, are destroyed in righteous and holy judgment.

I am especially proud of the work I do as mentor of the young boys at my church. I meet with these boys regularly as a group or one-on-one, raising them to be like me when they grow up. As a fatherly figure, I enjoy knowing these boys. It gives me great satisfaction to make them holy like I am.”

At the same time in Las Vegas, a crack-addicted prostitute stood in a dark street corner. Keeping her eyes on the ground, she whispered, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner!”

I am telling you the truth, the crack-addicted prostitute was right with God, and not the church pastor.

Jesus said, “everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

(Adapted from Luke 18:9-14)

“Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall.” (1 Corinthians 10:12)

More on “Christian Accountability”


Mr. Steve McVey has commented extensively on the creeping legalisms that has infected too many churches. One of his latest blog writings is on the false notion that Christians need to have “accountability partners”.  Mr. McVey shows how “Christian accountability” as preached in many churches contradicts Bible teachings.