Markham Stouffville Urgent Care Centre – Inaccurate Advertising

I received this note from a trusted friend:

“The Markham Stouffville Urgent Care Centre placed ads in the local newspaper saying that flu shots are available there. In the ad, they told the public that vaccines are available during regular clinic hours, in addition to special flu shot sessions. However, when I went there with my mother (she is a senior in her late sixties) last Thursday afternoon during regular clinic hours, they refused to vaccinate us. We were the only patients there at the time, and staff members were just sitting around. I asked if they could at least make an exception for my mother, but they still refused. As a result, the drive there, plus the time spent, was for nothing.

“Please tell everyone that no, the flu vaccine is NOT available at the Markham Stouffville Urgent Care Centre during regular clinic hours. Thank you!”

Pharisee church pastor calls for immediate halt to AIDS vaccine research

The Pharisee church pastor was exceptionally agitated when he saw me today. He proclaimed:

“Moral values are under threat today like never before. The devil is planning to unleash an unprecedented wave of promiscuity and licentiousness onto the world very soon.”

Explain, Pharisee church pastor?

“The science people had just made a major discovery that can lead to the development of a vaccine against AIDS. Right now, the universal fear of AIDS is a fundamental tool in ensuring people remain chaste and abstain from pre- and extra-marital sex. Indeed, in my Christian accountability groups for teenage boys as well as those for teenage girls, I stress the message that if they engage in sex before or outside marriage that is sanctioned by my church, they will catch AIDS, die a horrible death, and burn in hell for eternity.

If the science people were to be successful in discovering an effective vaccine against AIDS, thus making the disease preventable other than by abstinence, people will be free to indulge in their deepest animal desires for lust. Incidences of the Three Worst Sins – Homosexuality, Adultery, and Prostitution – will skyrocket.

Indeed, AIDS was created by God to punish homosexuals, adulterers, and prostitutes. That’s why people get the disease from these sins. All efforts to eliminate this instrument of God’s judgement represent a conspiracy between the devil, homosexuals, adulterers, and prostitutes.”

But, Pharisee church pastor, what about the 280,000 children who died of AIDS in 2008? And how about the over 14 million AIDS orphans in Africa?

“That is preventive judgement. Some of these children would have grown up to become homosexuals, adulterers, and prostitutes, while others are now divinely warned not to engage in these sins.

But this is not the first time the devil is corrupting moral values through a vaccine. The evil one has already created the HPV vaccine in order to lead teenage girls to sexual promiscuity. I and all my Christian accountability groups will be praying for the defeat of all evil schemes to promote lust through vaccination.”

Pharisee church pastor, if a deadly virus is your friend, what kind of horrible creature does that make you?